Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Life's Balance

A few months ago, I purchased a balance disc--what looks like an oversized inflated frisbee--upon which one develops muscle tone and, "whaddya know"--balance.  It sat in a basket near my desk where I could fully experience the guilt associated with "committing without commitment."  This weekend I finally began to use it.  I'd like to say I'm feeling more balanced.  Alas, not yet.  And anyway, what's the big deal?  If it's so hard to achieve, maybe it's an unnatural state.  In fact, is it healthy to constantly strive to lead a balanced life?  Isn't it like trying to earn more money or own a nicer home?  And if it were natural, wouldn't we naturally be balanced?

I wouldn't want you all to think I can't see the merit of living a more well-modulated life.  But it somehow seems unattainable unless by happenstance.  If I had a mantra, it would be "live as if there were no tomorrow."  And in order to do that, it has meant that my children received varying degrees of attention (not varying degrees of love, mind you), my house was more OR less cared for and tidy, the refrigerator was more OR less orderly, work took up way more time than it should have, and retirement plans were merely dreams.

Now I'm retired and my children are adults.  They're wrapped up in their own attempts at balance while I still find myself just as busy as I was--sometimes with things that don't align with what I considered my intentions in retirement.  But I'll tell you, dear readers, that I'm still living the mantra.  I fill my days with 1) things I love to do, 2) things I have to do, and 3) things that, in the end, reward me with whatever makes it possible to do what I love to do. 

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Wondrous Moments

Now that I've gone back to work--even part-time, I have neglected my blog.  There's a reason why I didn't start this until after I retired.  The fact is, I didn't have it in me to be articulate at the end of the day after being articulate--or pretending to be--during the work day.

I have been spending my evenings planning for our upcoming trip to France, finally settling on destinations where we will make our brief but adventuresome homes.  Now that we've made those decisions--agonizing though they were, we can move on to anxiously watch the Euro and the price of oil plummet before committing to a car and a flight and before paying anything more than is necessary to secure our rentals.  One thing at a time.  I'm trying desperately to stifle my excitement knowing that there are almost four months to survive before stepping on a plane.

There is, however, still wonder to be found in the day.  I try to savor those magic moments even though I don't share them with you.  Each year, I watch and wait for the blossoming of my neighbor's late-blooming dogwood.  My hands-down favorite flowering plant in the neighborhood, I appreciate it more and more each year as it grows taller.  On this day as I was walking by, the neighbor--knowing how much I appreciate her tree,  rushed out of her house to offer me a few branches.  I even went back home to fetch my camera rather than using my iPhone to take some pictures.  I thought the tree deserved more respect.

I hope you are all finding magical moments each day in your busy lives as well.  Whether or not you share them with others, hold the wonder in your own heart.